The Beauty of the Moment Denise Krochta Have you ever stopped to think that tomorrow might not come? What if you knew that today would be your last day? Do you ever go from here to there and when you get there realize that, in your mind, you were planning something that would be happening at a later date, time, and place? Do you ever go to the movies and realize that you missed a very relevant part of the movie because your mind was somewhere else? Let’s go back to the second question. Think about it. If you had 24 hours left and knew it, how would you spend them? Three of my siblings have died at young ages. The oldest was 40 years old. Two of the three were younger than I was. This often brought these thoughts to mind. I think it is human nature to think about this after young people die. But, we usually only think about it for a short while and then dismiss it and continue our usual mode of existence. For me and for many that includes lots of time spent physically in one place and mentally in another. It was not until years after the deaths I mention above, that crisis, sadness, anxiety and frustration returned to my life. Worry, worry, worry. Projecting. The “what ifs” of the past and the “what ifs” of the future almost completely occupied my mind. This time my reaction was radical. I began to think, again, about making my time count, making it mean something. I began my journey into a life of learning to live in the present moment. I am a practical person. I am a patient person. Changing from a distracted and preoccupied person to someone who can focus on the moment, I knew, would not be easy nor would it be immediate. I was willing to give it a valiant effort. I expected it could save my life. And, in many ways, it did. In the beginning, each day I would catch myself projecting and worrying about the past or the future, at least 100 times. Each time I would catch myself and direct my thoughts to what was happening in my life at that particular moment. I would focus on the details and try to experience Now. This took a lot of hard work and concentration. Sometimes by the end of the day I had to take a break, because in those early days, I was exhausted. But, perseverance paid off. Big time! After years of putting minute by minute together to experience each on its own, I will never regret the hard work. Today, distraction does come. There is minimal time worrying, even in the midst of drama and chaos, and my life is calm and serene when it should be and exciting and enlightening when it can be. At this time in my life there is no wasted time. Waiting in lines, wherever, now that I am aware I have lots of entertainment. Sometimes I’m so busy watching what is going on around me that I hope the wait can be just a little bit longer. There is so much to see, hear, feel, and ponder. Previously, I could be anywhere and much happened around me that I would never experience. Today, I realize that I spent much of my life not seeing because I was not looking with my mind, only with my eyes. Each morning I wake up and let the dog out. There is so much to experience at that very moment. I look and Now I see. The flowers in my garden are partially opened and the bees and the butterflies (which had always been illusive in the past) can be seen busily beginning their day. The dew is dripping off the roof and the clouds in the sky form unique patterns and colors as the rising sun shines from behind them. The neighborhood hawk is looking down at us from the palm tree in the center of the driveway, as he does each morning. Speaking of the dog, the moment she walks out the door she stops to scan the yard for something to chase. She is completely focused on her environment. I’ve learned a lot of this from my dogs, actually. You see, dogs live in the moment, for the moment, and seem to be very focused on the goings on of that moment. I don’t think they think much about the future. As my day progresses, even what many would consider the mundane daily activities will bring a smile to my face at the strangest times. While sitting at a red light I often am attracted by something small that would never have gotten my attention in the past. I’ve been especially amused by spiders on my windshield, often continuing to watch what will happen to them when my car begins to pick up speed after the stop. Or I’ll notice the expression on the face of a baby in a stroller as the mom walks in the cross walk at the light. Babies always make me smile. It is my experience Now that I can enjoy myself no matter what I am doing and where I am. My husband likes to go to the home improvement store, and he likes me to accompany him. For many years, this was such a boring and unnerving chore for me, but I did it for my husband. When I began my transition to focus and experiencing each moment, even this experience changed. Instead of just wishing it to be over I began to pay attention to what was around me. I was amazed by the different kinds of people seriously enjoying their home improvement experience. I noticed the customer service people, some who were having good days, and some who were obviously having not so good days. I began to actually look at some of the items in the store and learn about things that I couldn’t even identify at first. I realized that my original bad attitude really a waste of good time. There was a lot to learn here. Every couple of months I go to get my hair cut. A simple activity you might think. Each time I do this someone washes my hair. During that time I’ve learned to pay strict attention to the feel of the warm, then cool water, the smell of the shampoo and conditioners, and especially the touch of the person shampooing my hair. It’s like getting a massage as a bonus for the price of a haircut. These are the many simple ways to practice living in the moment. When we have special plans like vacations, family celebrations, alone times in a beautiful and quiet place, we can really hone our skills and make these events even more special than ever. We begin to see awe in many (what we might have originally considered boring or common) things. We begin to recognize the small miracles around us every day. We notice that our bodies are less tense and there seems to be less stress in our lives. As I said before, this is a simple concept but not easy. The rewards are never ending. Think about this. At the particular moment we are pondering the things of our choice we cannot worry and stress about the chaos and drama in our lives. Each moment we choose to focus on the very moment we are experiencing, chances are there is nothing to worry about or cause us stress. It is important that we take moment by moment. If we put these moments together it is easy to come up with some stress free and worry free time before you know it. As I said, I am a practical person. I am not unrealistic and I am not idealistic. Many would consider this “living in the moment” thought process something out of the ordinary and not for the general population. This is not the case. For those, like me, who need to regain a sense of calm and sanity in a life surrounded by drama and chaos, “capturing” the present moment as often as possible can make this happen. Anyone can do this. Try it. You’ll like it! (For clarification of purpose: This is part of a plan that worked for me during some extremely stressful years of my teenage son’s addiction to drugs.) About the Author: Denise Krochta grew up during the 50’s and 60’s on the East coast of the US. She has a BA degree from IndianaUniversity, Bloomington, in foreign languages. After college, her career in International Business took her to places around the globe. Traveling, meeting and learning about people and their values and traditions, have since been an integral part of her life. Denise is married and has two grown sons. She and her husband live in Florida with their energetic boxer pup. Denise is the author of "Sweat: A Practical Plan for Keeping Your Heart Intact While Loving an Addict" For more information visit her website at www.DeniseKrochta.com |
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